What Is Shame and How Can We Break Its Hold?

A.J. Bond


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The go-to guide to understand and unpack shame: what it is, why we feel it, and how to undo the lies it tells us about ourselves.

Are you ready to get Discomfortable?

This is a book about shame: what it is, why we have it, and how we can break its hold on our happiness. We all know shame: it's that feeling that tells us that somehow, who we are is inherently wrong. It's more than embarrassment or regret: it shakes us to the core. And most of all, it tells us that we need to be, feel, and act differently in order to be seen, loved, and accepted.

Author and "shame-ed" coach AJ Bond takes us through his own shame breakthrough, sharing how he went from I'd rather die than be gay to uncovering and reclaiming his inherent wholeness and worth. With unexpected humor, warmth, and candid personal stories, Bond shows readers:

  • Why shame shows up--the trauma, fixed mindsets, and messaging that give it a foothold
  • How shame tricks you into believing there's something wrong with you, even when you're perfectly right
  • The evolutionary reasons we humans developed a sense of shame (and why it doesn't serve us today)
  • How to manage and deprogram shame through connection, gratitude, and empowered choice
  • How we can re-parent ourselves, be fully seen, and feel fully loved

  • Bond shines a light on this feeling that doesn't want to be seen, heard, or named--and invites us to bring our own shame into the open and release it to reclaim and reframe our lives in a powerful new way.


    A.J. Bond:
    A. J. Bond is a writer, filmmaker, and self-described "shame breakthrusiast," creator of the podcast and shame education platform Discomfortable. Bond is currently undergoing certification as a shame healing practitioner from the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley, CA, and has conducted meetups, workshops, and public talks through conferences like the World Domination Summit and others. Bond's goal with Discomfortable is to make the subject of shame as ubiquitous, accessible, and entertaining as possible in the hopes that others can find the same sense of relief, liberation, and purpose that he experienced through his own "shame breakthrough."